Wifey<3

Self portrait for class -_-

Lethargic Ass Bitch ( LAB :] )

Here I go again with the random emoness. I mean like I just randomly start feeling strange and EVERYTHING bothers me. Schools still stressful. Friday I have a practice SAT & a PFT. Hopefully I can pass both. Speaking of passing , I'm passing Enviromental Science with an 85 woohoo and English with an 80. Idk about the rest of my classes. But I really need to stop being lazy. I'm smart, I know it. I just act so lethargic most of the time. I think nostalgia causes my "depression." I need to stop it. Everytime my mom sees me she asks whats wrong and like always I say nothing. I love my mother no matter how much we argue. But I just don't see her as one to go to when I need someone to talk to. I rather blog. Lol. On the other hand, photography class on Saturdays is really grabbing my attention. I sorta "borrowed" this really heavy book called "The History of Photography" and found it to be really cool. I like a lot of modern photographers from the 60-90's. Really good shit. Started reading a book called "The Glass Castle" the other day. Its a memoir and as much as I hate memoirs, I actually like it. Good looks Ms. Jones (: So today in school around 9th period, I was going to my locker to leave some textbooks and some kid offered to carry my books. It was cute , but it got me mad. When I need help, I never get it. People always come to me when they need something. I'm a nice person but don't take advantage of me. I'm pretty humble which is a reason a lot of people find me vulnerable. I'm starting to lose my temper really easily. Idk like I've said in previous posts shit is really getting me mad recently. I feel like I'm being repetitive. Blah but yea, my hair looks how it looked Sunday, don't ask how, haha. I have homework but I don't feel like doing it at the moment. (Lazy ass bitch, smh)

DXC NYC -________-

Debbys mom ended up driving her to my house where she met my parents and the kids. We left and ran into some people on the line. Blah it wasn't bad everyone was broke. It was nice seeing some people. No good pics. I need my camera, anyone gonna lend me a grand? =]

I don't know

I'm confused. I don't know why. I've been feeling wierd out of nowhere. Like just randomly at anytime of the day I feel like I'm doing something wrong. Everyone tells me to calm down but I get so panickyy. I just wanna cry. I wanna cut my hair shoulder length. I wanna cross the street on a green light and not get hit by a car. I wanna wake up somewhere I have no idea how I got there. I wanna have single serving friends. I wanna just throw out or delete everything I don't want. I wanna have an imaginary friend that will do everything I will do. I wanna make soap. I wanna take a picture with grass in the background. I wanna change my name to something catchy. . I wanna have friends that actually care. I wanna lay down by myself and watch a bunch of movies I love. I wanna know everything from a time before mine. I wanna play with fire and not get burned. I wanna travel the world to take pictures of beautiful nothings. I wanna do everything i've never thought of not doing. Why ? I don't know. & yes I'm not tired. & yes I'm watching Fight Club. & yes I know I don't make sense.

I <3 JOHN MAYER